10 Things from Sunday Funday: Week 12

1. If there is a horse collar tackle in a football game, you will always know it. Why? Because every man, woman, and child in the room will call it. “Horse collar, horse Collar! Oh c’mon, throw the flag, that’s a horse collar!”  Somehow they all know. They’re all football experts on that call. I guess it’s because it’s a relatively new highly publicized rule with a funny name, and it’s visibly violent. But you watch, whenever a defender gets a hand near the back of the ball carries neck, people are on the edge of their seat ready to be the first and smartest football fan to scream out the obvious.

2. I just heard this from a reliable source who knows a guy that went to school with Tiger’s friend… It seems that Woods was leaving his Orlando home at 2:30 AM to meet with Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick about a possible head coaching position opening up at Notre Dame…

So yea.. there ya go, two birds, one stone.

3. I’m hearing some buzz (NFL.com) about the Colts offense finally taking a back seat to their defense, who stepped up in the second half against a potent Texans offense. Eh, I don’t see it that way. The way I see it, the Texans took a 20-7 lead to the half against Indy and just freaked out. They didn’t know what to do with it. They gave up 4 unanswered TDs and just looked confused against a team they’ve only beaten once in 15 tries. Sad really for a team that has looked promising this year. It’s crazy to think that teams can freak out at the thought of one player orchestrating a 4th quarter comeback, but they do. Just ask Darth Belicheck.

4. I’m pretty sure Soccer has a penalty now to combat all that fake injury/flopping the players do to get a call. I think the NFL could adopt something similar. In all my years of watching football I don’t know if I’ve ever seen this much whining by receivers after an incomplete pass. Not to single anyone out because it’s all over the place, but Jeremy Maclin throws his arms up looking for a flag after every incompletion. And half of the time when they show the replay again, there is no contact. I agree that sometimes a ref will miss a call, but its getting ridiculous to watch these guys cry about it every play. Bad pass, receiver wants a flag. Tripped on his own feet, receiver wants a flag, Dropped pass because the QB threw it to hard, Flag. Dropped a pass because he should be playing special teams but his team decided that he was a No. 1 receiver, flag. I say cut the hissy fits and throw a 5 yard flag on the receiver for throwing a tantrum.

5. I heard this joke today from a guy at the bar. “Hey Jim Zorn, the 50′s called, they want their hair style back.” Ummm. Penalty on this guy. Well, kind of. Calling out JZ’s haircut, that’s funny, but using the “person place or thing called” joke is painfully lame. Really, did anyone ever think that was funny? Maybe the first person who ever used it deserved a few points. The person hearing the joke was probably like, “Wait, what, Marlon Brando called? How? I don’t”…And then he realized he was being made fun of for wearing a white t-shirt to a dinner party. But c’mon, the 50′s called? First of all, everyone’s heard this awful joke set up so many times, you can’t possibly think it’s going to go over well anymore. You can’t help but cringe in the seconds between the set up and the punch line. And second, the 50′s called? Why would a decade call? What would that even sound like. They can’t talk. This is silly. Probably sounds like when your trying to sign onto AOL through a phone line in the 90′s. Two points for calling out the hair, Minus three for formatting.

6. Here’s a phrase that could probably be eliminated altogether for its futility. “Man, I hope i make the playoffs this year, I could really use the money.”Oh man, I had no idea! That’s great! You could really use the money? Cool man, because I’m wondering, is there a time when you really couldn’t use the money? I can’t think of one. “Gosh, I really hope you beat me this week Jim, I just really couldn’t use the money. If I hear about someone rooting against their team in the super bowl because they couldn’t use the money, this phrase will have relevance again.

7. Uh-oh, the Chargers are doing it again!!! You know what I’m talking about. Where they’re unanimous preseason favorites, then they struggle. Then everyone thinks LT is a bust. Then Gates disappears. Then they start winning a few games under the radar. Then they start crushing teams. Then they’re in first place again. then Gates blows up for 9 TDs in one game. Then Phil Rivers gets thrown into the Manning, Brady, Brees talk. Then LT looks alive,. Then they make the playoffs. Then they’re the team that no one wants to play. Then LT gets dinged up and he’s on the sideline. Then media calls him selfish. Then they lose. Then they never should have let go of Schottenhiemer. Then LT might get traded. Then they might draft Beanie Wells to replace him. Then they still have the best jerseys ever.

8. Don’t look now, but  Jamal Charles, or Ja-Cha, that’s what I call him, has quietly put up back to back to back 20 point games. It’s the year of the Texas Longhorn running back, my friends. Ricky, Cedric, Ja-Cha, Priest Holmes, Selvin Young, Earl Campbell, Larry Johnson, Chris Johnson, Jack Johnson, Michael Johnson, the Olympian, Olivia Newton John, Elton John, John Travolta.. you name it.

9. The Vikings dismantle a uninspired Bears team. Lovie’s seat is on fire. Like, if you could pick a flavor 5 times hotter than the Blazin’ wing option at B-Dubs, that’s how hot. And Favre, he’s that hot right now too. But as for the MVP talk, might he be getting knocked for doing “more with more,” so to speak? The Vikings seem like a complete team, while the Saints probably wouldn’t be undefeated without Brees. The same with with the Colts. Whatever. They’ll battle it out soon enough.

10. The Bad: Jake Delhomme, Jay Cutler, the movie “Old Dogs.” The In-Between: Eagles squeaking by Washington. The Bengals win unenthusiastically over the Browns, “The Blind Side” The Good: Vince Young’s 99 yard TD drive. Chris Johnson gets 150 more, Percy Harvin, Vernon Davis, Antonio’s break out, and “NEW MOON!!” OMG!! Still Team ROB! AHHHHHHHHH!