10 Things from Sunday Funday: Week 9

1. Google clearly still watches Sesame Street.

2. Chris Johnson really is as good as his unstoppable 2010 Madden character. Jesus, he’s on pace for just under 2,000 yards.

3. I don’t have a problem with Miller Lite. I buy it because it’s not too heavy, it’s occasionally refreshing, and it’s cheap. But the recent ad campaigns where the creepy pedophile voice dubs it a fancy schmancy triple hops lager brewed with “real beer aroma,” is a bit over the top. I’m not suggesting these claims are not true, I’m just saying, we all know what Miller Lite is. The glamorous buzz words are ridiculous and misleading. Most every brewing company “double or triple hops brews” and “cold-filters” their beers, they just don’t shove it down our throats like it’s something unique. This is like changing the Kraft mac n’ cheese ad to: “Pour our double sealed goat milk powder cheese sleeve over our white bean corn flour shells for that “real macaroni taste.” C’mon now, we know Kraft mac n’cheese isn’t something were going to find at the Al Covo Restaurant in Venice, but we enjoy it for the quick tasty meal that it is. It’s the same with Miller Lite, we know what it is and we drink for that reason. It’s affordable price and its “real beer aroma.”

4. In the Battle of the Bays we found out a few things:  Green Bay is just as awful as Cream Bay. Aaron Rodgers sack total is up to 37 on the year. Josh Freeman is a step in the right direction.  And the orange dreamsicle creamsicle jerseys actually taste like real creamsicles. Seriously try one. $60 on ebay. They’re delicious.

5. Cincinnasty football is rockin’ right now. The whole city is on the bandwagon so much that the Bearcats and the Bengals have scheduled two “Ohio River Rivalry” exhibition games at Great American Ballpark for the week after the ‘Cats win the BCS Championship and another the week after the Bengals win the Superbowl!!! Welcome to the Jungle! The birthplace of aviation and the one year sabbatical location of football! Bob Huggins will act as interim coach for UC while Brian Kelly is up north trying to convince Golden Tate he’s too small to play in the NFL next year.

(A joke of course. And the Bengals are really good, the Bearcats are really good, and Charlie Weis, like it or not, probably isn’t going anywhere)

6. Ced Ben and the Bengal o’line are on a mission right now, but 71, that’s right, 71 carries in the last two games is a whole lot of pounding for one man. Bernard Scott, Brian Leonard, and Corey Dillon need to be more involved sooner than later.

7. With a combined 281 total yards and 2 tds this week, Maurice Jones-Drew and Mike Sims-Walker will continue to be stud fantasy performers as long as David Garrard-Smith continues to take care of the ball, or as long as they play Kansas City.

8. Larry Fitzgerald is a freak of nature. Peanut Tillman looked amateur trying to cover him in Chicago. According to my buddies at the table, anyone who sports the long dreadlock hairstyle is a superstar. I asked them what their reasoning was behind that. “Physics,” said one. “Aerodynamics,” said the other.

…Well that’s over my head, but I do know that Great Clips is losing a client for a few years.

9. Clark Judge of CBS says that with one drive Phillip Rivers “demonstrated to San Diego, New York City and millions of television viewers why he was the quarterback the Chargers wanted over Eli Manning and why he was the quarterback they wanted over Drew Brees.”

Also, the title of his column, is “Rivers Gets Redemption, While Making the Bolts Look Smart.”

Wow I could have a field day with this one. So I will. One drive makes the Bolts look smart? Whaaat? That’s absurd. I can’t tell if Judge hates New York, loves San Diego, or doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Rivers is a great player, don’t get me wrong. But it was most definitely Eli who didn’t want the Chargers, not the other way around. And they didn’t necessarily want rivers over Drew Brees, they were forced to draft a QB when Brees had major shoulder surgery. And when Brees fortunately became healthy again they already had so much money invested in Rivers, there was no logical way to resign Brees. C’mon Clark, all of these ramblings are blatantly incorrect. I won’t even explain to you how good Drew Brees is as I expect you know that he’s arguably the best quarterback in the game. Actually, he hasn’t even lost a game this year. The Chargers knew how good he was, they just had an impossible situation. And Eli, well Eli won the Giants a Super Bowl already. Rivers hasn’t been able to do anything with any of his ridiculously talented teams except find a way a to make an early exit from the playoffs each year. Yes, I agree he threw a nice pass to keep his team’s season alive last night, but did you see some of the other careless throws he made? What a terrible INT that was with 3:14 left in the 4th quarter.

I’m actually a fan of Phil Rivers, but I wouldn’t use one good drive in Week 9 to create some sort of colossal mistake hypothesis by the Giants organization that clearly doesn’t exist. That’s just dumb. The point is, both of these guys are top players in the NFL and they both have their teams in the playoff hunt, so I don’t understand your reason for sticking your chest out and weakly tossing the “Rivers was the right pick” card here, because they both have been good. But if we are going to play that game, I’ll tell you what really would’ve made the Bolts or the Giants look smart like I said in back in 2004: Trade down and draft Ben Roethlisberger.

10. I’m still having trouble buying into Miles Austin hype, but he certainly has a knack for the big play. He scored again on a huge 3rd and 14 play to put the Cowboys on top. Unfortunately, he opted not for the slam dunk celebration this time, but rather, the easy “throw the ball into the wall” instead. (which can be seen in the final minute of these highlights) Boooring.