It’s a Very Very, Matt World

Leave your pocket presence and leadership intangibles at the door, their merits are merely mythical. (Alliteration!) Forget arm strength and accuracy and all of those other overrated physical tools. Those will only take you so far. If you want to play quarterback in the National Football League, all you really need is the right name. Nearly one-sixth of the current starting quarterbacks in the NFL are sharing the name Matt, and three more could join them if Delhomme and Warner keep throwing picks and if I decide to make myself eligible for next year’s draft. Pretty sure I can finish better than 2 for 17 in 4 quarters. Probably not, but at the current rate all of these Matt’s are taking the helm, if I’m a Jimmy, Jake, Colt, Sam, or a Tim, I’m seriously considering a name change.

Well, probably not a Colt. I think I’d just take my chances if I had the best.. QB.. Name.. Ever!

Currently, there are 9 active signal callers named Matt. (backup’s included) But it doesn’t just end with the quarterbacks. There are a number of players at different positions that share the common name. After a thorough breakdown of all of the guys who are named after something you might wipe your feet on, here is a list of the 10 best Matt’s who play in the NFL:

(I’ll probably be on this next year.)

10. Leinart

A former Heisman winner who’s career as a starter has been held up by a rejuvenated Kurt Warner. Despite watching Warner guide the team to the Super Bowl in ’08, it’s only a matter of time until he is handed back the reins. He has the talent and the perfect name for future success, and while he waits for his opportunity, he’ll continue improving his skills in practice, in the weight room, and on Saturday nights.

9. Stover

It’s hard to put a kicker on here, but Stover has quite the resume. He’s 5^th all-time in the NFL in scoring, he holds the record for most consecutive extra points made at 389, he penned the novelization of Star Wars: Episode III, and he kicked two field goals in a Super Bowl XXXV victory. Stover is now on the wrong side of 40, but thanks to an Adam Vinatieri injury, he’s found a new job with Indianapolis. And as we all might have expected, he’s made every kick so far! Yahhhhhhooo Matt Stover! Greatest Brown/Raven ever! Revenge of the Sith!!!

8. Cassel

Here’s the poster child for the “Matt” Factor. Never play a down in college (at QB), get drafted, fill in for an injured starter for a few games, get traded, and get paid 60 million by Kansas City! In fairness to Matt, he did have an excellent season filling in for Brady. And he does have the size, arm and athletic ability to play in the NFL. But the real reason the Chiefs were so quick to reward him with a 6 year deal with such minimal credibility was obviously his first name. Mitch, Aaron, I’m just sayin’ guys, if you’re serious about the NFL… Matt Mustain, Matt Corp… Those’ll sound just fine. Think about it.

7. Stafford

The top pick in the 2009 draft certainly has the makeup of a star. He started developing a nice rapport with superstar WR Calvin Johnson before injuries slowed both of them. Stafford led the Lions to their first victory in over a year in week 3. The franchise can only go up at this point and Stafford should be a major reason why. But if for some reason it doesn’t work out and he turns into another Joey Harrington, it’s only because Matthew is legally his middle name.

6. Light

A two time pro-bowler who protected Drew Brees in college and Tom Brady in three superbowls. Matt has been become one of the better tackles in the league since ’01 when he was drafted and named to the all-rookie team. Some injuries have plagued him recently, but he’s still a big part of the offense. Off the field, Matt is active in Charity Work and dancing with reptiles.

5. Forte

A second round gem for Chicago who carried Da Bears on his back in his first season. Forte’s great instincts, vision, and receiving skills made him an immediate star. The addition of Cutler in ‘09 has taken some of the pressure off of Forte, but along with a decaying offensive line, it’s also cut into his production. Still, a bright future lies ahead, such as, playing the Lions a lot.

4. Hasselbeck

A rock solid veteran who’s played in a number of pro-bowls and carried his team to a Super Bowl. Hasselbeck has put up excellent numbers year after year until a back injury derailed him in ‘08. He’s battled a few minor bumps and bruises again this season, but he’s shown some flashes of his old self. With his dominating 4 TD performance in week 5, it’s clear he still has some of that Sirloin Burger Country Vegetable Chunky soup left in the can.

3. Birk

The 6 time pro-bowler put together a hall of fame type resume in Minnesota. Birk anchored the Vikings line for 11 years before signing with Baltimore as a free agent this past year. The Ravens are currently 5^th in total offense thanks largely in part to Big Red Birk and the rest of his linemen. The Harvard grad is one of the few players who’s agreed to donate his brain to scientific research after his career ends to study the effects of concussions.

…I mean after he’s dead! Not after his career ends! After he’s dead I meant! Whoa, that would have been a messy retirement.

2. Ryan

The player who Steve Young pegs as “the best sophomore QB of all time” finishes as the runner up on the list of Matt’s. Ryan turned a terrible Falcons team into a playoff team in his rookie year. His calm demeanor, physical tools, and “mature beyond his years” leadership help make him a front runner as the next great superstar, and none of these traits are nearly as important as his excellent first name. I mean let’s be honest, “Ryan Matthews” just wouldn’t be this good this soon, and he certainly wouldn’t get this smooth of a shave.

1. Schaub

After spending his early years backing up Mike Vick, Houston recognized wasted talent and made a move. Schuab has been hampered by injuries, but when he’s healthy, he’s money. Currently, his Texans are squarely in the playoff hunt and he leads the league in touchdown passes and passing yards. Schaub has the makeup of a future star and he’s certainly got the talent around him to get there. The Schaub to Andre Johnson connection will be one of the more exciting TD combos for years to come unless Rex Grossman wins the camp battle next season.

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