Is Randy Moss the Real Life Kenny Powers?

I’m a big fan of the HBO Series “Eastbound and Down” staring Danny McBride as the selfish baseball pitcher Kenny Powers.  If you haven’t had a chance to see it and you don’t mind being offended by a foulmouthed egotist, than you might like the show.

And over the last year I’ve started to notice that the NFL’s Randy Moss reminds me of a real life Kenny Powers.

It was subtle at first but now I’m piecing together the puzzle. Is Randy Moss the real life Kenny Powers? Let’s look at the evidence.

Drug Use

Kenny likes to smoke up and do other types of ‘recreational’ drugs. 

Drugs have played a part in a few of Moss’ run-ins with the law and he once ran over a cop and marijuana was found in his car. Moss was also enrolled at Florida State. He was supposed to be with Notre Dame before that but got in trouble with the law for fighting.

You know him from Marshall but the Seminoles bounced his ass after he violated his parole for smoking pot. Later on in his pro career Moss would admit in an interview that he smokes regularly. And if Nancy Reagan taught us one thing, it’s that drugs are bad.

The Hair.

Powers has the Mullet.  Moss has the cornrows/I-lost-my-razor-3-months-ago look. He used to have the Afro. I wished more players would have the Afro. It’s a lost art. 

But Powers did start out Season 2 with cornrows….

Coincidence? I think not!

The Talk

Kenny Powers shows up to a game when he’s ready.  Moss once said the same thing with his famous “I’ll play when I want to play” quote.

Here’s a recent rant by Moss. Maybe it’s the drawl. Maybe it’s the brash attitude.  Take a listen to this press conference of Randy Moss bitching out the media. Visually replace Moss with Powers and it’s like an episode of “Eastbound.”

I would love to see Moss and Powers together in an episode. They could be brothers.

The Attitude

Besides playing when they want to play, both guys bounced around the league before pissing off enough people that no one wanted them. Both guys are not known for being friendly people to their critics.

Take this real life example of Randy Moss just this month:

As is the team’s custom on Fridays, a local food establishment was invited to the training facility to serve a catered, post-practice meal in the locker room. In this case, a St. Paul restaurant that is a favorite of former Vikings center Matt Birk(notes). As the proprietors helped serve chicken, ribs, pasta and other dishes to Vikings players, Moss paced up and down the serving line and loudly expressed his displeasure with the offerings.

According to one player who witnessed the scene, Moss yelled, “What the [expletive]? Who ordered this crap? I wouldn’t feed this to my dog!”

Said the witness: “It was brutal. The truth is, he deserved to be cut after that. It was such an uncomfortable moment. You know that feeling where you just can tell someone feels so small? That’s what it was like being there. [via]

Powers lashes out at the media.  Moss lashes out at the media.

Powers throws balls at people…in the stands.  Moss moons people and runs over cops.

Both guys can be self-absorbed pricks which can only mean one thing.  Someone help me write a script as Moss heads back home to regroup for a comeback.  He can be a substitute gym teacher until he bolts to North of the border to the CFL.