NFL Combine Is Here, Time To Whip It Out

Potential NFL Draft picks are gathering in Indianapolis this week for the NFL Combine to essentially whip it out and measure their talents.  A player must face a battery of tests to determine where they stack up against that years talent which include jumping, running, BBQ-ing, written tests, interviews and timing who can change Rex Ryan’s Depends the fastest.

It’s a rough week for some kids as they get their first taste of the pressure required to get drafted.  Their performance will determine where they play and how much money they will make.

But the most important test in the 40-yard dash. 

No other test is thrown around with such importance as the test of manhood called the 40-yard dash.  Or as I like to call it, the “Al Davis Dash.”

The real trick is not to be the fastest player in the 40. That guy usually gets drafted by Oakland and spends the preseason starching Al Davis’ track suits.  So it’s good advice to probably pull up a bit and come in second if you can.

The media and critics are quick to whip out a guys 40 even if it isn’t’ relevant to his position. You would think that all the bench presses and vertical leaps were just there to keep people busy while players ran the dash.

“Ted, we go this Tight End who can run a 4.8/40.”

“Can he catch?”

“Nope.  Hands like stone. He’s also got asthma and bench presses around 37 pounds. “

“But, that’s a good 40 time.”

“Yeah, what you thinking?  Third rounder?”

“With a 40 like that, we better get him in the second.”

The 40 is vastly overrated,  I’d like to see some more real world tests put into the combine.  Too bad there wasn’t a test to see how much beer a player could drink.  We’ll call it the Ben Roethlisberger test. It appears that St. Louis sent a scout to the combine just for that purpose:

St Louis Rams scout Luke Driscoll was reportedly arrested early Friday morning when police found him urinating on a building in downtown Indianapolis. And it doesn’t end there. According to reports, Driscoll then exposed himself to a female officer.

Looks like Driscoll is at the combine looking for the next Leonard Little.

Running the 40 is so important to a player’s future.  Tank the dash and who knows where you’ll end up.  Take Tom Brady, a prospect out of Michigan.  He had such talent but he ran like a 17 minute 40-yard dash. Not good.  He even showed up at the combine looking like this:

….and now he’s slumming it with super models and lookin’ like this:

If only he had run a good 40 he could have been something instead of resorting to being a male model.