Yes! Matt Millen and Joe Theismann Out As NFL Network Announcers

The NFL Network has finally listened to its fans and booted a couple of their worst announcers for the annual Thursday Night Games.  Oh, thank heavens.

Former player and GM Matt Millen will go down in NFL history as the worst GM ever for his complete and idiotic dismantling of the Detroit Lions. To say that he was unqualified for the job and botch it is an understatement. And I must say that his announcing skills were not that much better.

Now Joe Theismann I can see why everyone dislikes. He’s kinda like a giddy airhead in the booth. I personally don’t hate him as much as some people do.  I know of some fans who would rather pull their hair out than listen to Theismann stumble through his commentary. Having someone else more qualified for the job is definitely an improvement.

So that’s why it’s such pleasant news to hear the NFL Network is looking for replacements for Millen and Theismann after some serious makeovers which include letting these two clowns go.

SI.com has learned that Mike Mayock (pictured, right) will join the NFL Network’s broadcast team for its eight-game Thursday Night Football package. He will replace Matt Millen and Joe Theismann on the broadcast.

Millen was named an NFL Network game analyst in 2009, joining Papa in the booth. Theismann was added last season. Both Millen and Theismann were polarizing figures, often drawing the ire of fans on Twitter and other social media outlets. The addition of Mayock will be greeted positively in many corners.

Since grabbing a share of the NFL’s game package, NFL Network has gone through a number of announcing teams for its Thursday Night Football program. HBO’s Bryant Gumbel was the network’s first play-by-play announcer and lasted two seasons before leaving in 2008. He was replaced by Papa, the voice of the New York Giants. [via SI.com]

Some names being tossed around to join Mayock are the fun Gus Johnson and Brian Papa, who you might know from his gig on the NFL Network Radio.  Both are much more talented and qualified for the job.

Plus, I can’t help but imagine the meeting in which the NFL Network executive sat Millen and Theismann down to discuss their jobs being similar to a NASA engineer trying to explain the Space Shuttle to Bert and Ernie.

Tim Tebow Erects Statue and Jockey Ads

Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow is having himself a busy month. It all started with the release of Tebow’s new endorsement for Jockey and ended up with himself etched in stone in Florida.

Jockey released a new ad featuring Tebow in their new line of Staycool undershirts and we can only guess that there will be more Tebow in the future.

The ad itself won’t save your soul but could help secure a spot for Tebow on the roster. The fact is if Tebow were not as popular as he was (or hated, depending on your views), then the Broncos might not have to worry about him.

But Tebow is easily the most famous Denver Bronco right now and despite his shortcomings the Broncos risk a huge decision whether to keep Tebow, trade him, or just don’t play him.

The Broncos new coach John Fox stated earlier this year that former starter Kyle Orton would be the Broncos starter going into camp but we all know that Tebow will be able to compete for the starting sport.

Let’s just do a quick poll. How many of you see Orton holding up a Lombardi Trophy in the near future?

Yeah, not many of you out there. Probably about as many hands raised as those that bought an Orton jersey.

Now, Tebow’s jersey is one of the best selling NFL jerseys and that was just during his rookie year when he hardly played. Whether you like Tebow or not or just think he’s a remaining error from the Josh McDaniel’s era, the Broncos would be downright silly in benching Tebow. Or even trading him.

Whether Tebow can make Denver fans forget that guy named Elway is a stretch but back down at Tebow’s old home in Gainesville, Florida, we saw a statue of Tebow erected alongside fellow former Florida Heisman winners Steve Spurrier and Danny Wuerrfel.

Now I want to mention something here about worshiping false idols but don’t tell Gator fans that. They love their Tebow and they unveiled a statue of Tebow’s likeness at their annual spring game on Saturday.

The statue depicts Tebow running the ball, instead of throwing like a QB does, as a reminder of his unorthodox style.  It also features the Bible verses that Tebow wore on his eye black.

The statue of former Gator quarterback Tim Tebow unveiled on the University of Florida campus over the weekend includes a realistic touch — a Bible verse written into the eye black.

Tebow was famous for including references to Bible passages in his eye black during his playing days at UF. When he wore “John 3:16″ during the 2009 national championship game, the biblical reference became the most popular Google search subject.

The “John 3:16″ verse is the one featured on the bronze statue, designed by Tallahassee artist Sandy Proctor. Proctor’s daughter and business manager, Peggy Proctor Woodham, said that Tebow himself picked the verse.

The goal was making all the statues as realistic as possible, she said, from the inclusion of the verse to the knee braces on the Danny Wuerffel statue. [via]

 

NFL Announces Preseason Games

The NFL has announced their preseason games for the upcoming season on Tuesday. If there is a season next fall. I’m sure there will be but it should be noted that it is a possibility that greed will overtake the good of the game.

Here’s hoping that we do indeed have a season and to prepare for. The NFL announced its preseason schedule Tuesday which includes 65 games through the opening week after Sept. 2. 11 preseason games will be nationally televised with all 2010 playoff teams will make at least one appearance. The first game of the season, the Hall of Fame game, starts off the year in Canton, Ohio. This year the game will feature the Chicago Bears and St. Louis Rams on Sunday, Aug. 7 on NBC.

On TV, we will see on the first week two games on ESPN with the Seahawks at Chargers (Thursday August 11) and Jets at Texans (Monday August 15). FOX will have the Tampa Bay Bucs at the Kansas City Chiefs on August 12.

Week 2 has the Eagles at Steelers (August 18 on FOX) and the Falcons at the Jaguars (August 19 on FOX). The Bears at Giants will be on Monday Night Football on August 22 on ESPN.

Week 3 will have the Washington Redskins at Baltimore Ravens (August 25 on ESPN), the Green Bay Packers at Indianapolis Colts (August 26 on CBS), the New England Patriots at Detroit Lions (August 27 on CBS), and the New Orleands Saints at Oakland Raiders (August 28 on NBC).

Week Four of the preseason will have no nationally televised games, since Week Four of the preseason usually is boring.

The NFL regular season schedule will be public soon but one game of note that the NFL is giving the goahead for is the annual London event. This year the game will feature the Tampa Bay Bucs (who played in 09′) and Jay Cutler and the Chicago Bears. The game’s exact date will be released later.

Purdue’s Carson Wiggs Nails 67-Yard Field Goal

Purdue’s kicker, Carson Wiggs, is no stranger to long kicks. Here’s a video from a few seasons ago where Wiggs nails a 57-yard field goal during a game. Very impressive, mostly for a college player. Here’s a look at the kick vs Toledo

Now flash forward to the spring game last Saturday and Wiggs upped the ante with this monster 67-yard field goal. Had it been in a real game, it would have tied the record for longest kick. It’s also 4 yards more than the NFL record of 63-yards held by Tom Dempsey and Jason Elam.

Right before half, Wiggs boots a crazy 67-yard attempt in the 2011 Black and Gold Spring Game.
The kick would be even more impressive if there were a good video of it. Sadly, this video of a TV screen will have to do for now. It’s hard to see but it’s there.

Tom Brady Tears Up After Being Drafted in Sixth Round

If you thought the girlie haircut and fashionista lifestyle has made a bit sensitive, well, you’d be correct.

Here we see New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, still sporting the girlie haircut, as he tears up when he remembers how hard it was to wait until the sixth round of the 2000 NFL draft before he heard his name called.

He was in such a rage that he tore his “N*Sync” poster off the wall and punched his stuffed unicorn. It was a vicious site to behold, I’m sure. But now we have almost 10 years to look back and reflect on the choice.

In the end, it didn’t matter but that’s not the case for everyone. Brady lucked out and got the chance to perform and he did it admirably. And because of that, and the fact he’s a multi-Super Bowl Champ, we can make fun of his girlie haircut and misty eyed reflection on the past.

Peyton Has Twins, Big Ben Gets Hitched

Unbeknownst to most people, part of the NFL Labor Agreement is that Indianapolis Colts QB Peyton Manning must provide the NFL with kids to keep the next generation of the sport alive.  Good news this week as Peyton help up his contract and he and his wife are now the proud parents of twins.

Just a few weeks back Eli Manning became a parent for the first time but it was a daughter.  Bust.  Thankfully, Peyton knows how to keep it going and Marshall Williams Manning and daughter Mosley Thompson Manning.  See, just like Eli, Peyton can have a daughter but he one-upped his little brother by also making one of the twins a boy.

Peyton allegedly used his superior mental powers to mind-control the pregnancy to make a boy.  Shazam!

Marshall Manning is just the next step in guaranteeing a future of the NFL talent base.  Hopefully there will be more in the future.  Also, Mel Kipper has already slotted Marshall on the big board of the 2033 NFL Draft with a #1 pick by Cincinnati.  Yeah, they still will be picking low in the future.

On the other side of the coin, frat-boy scumbag Big Ben Roffiesburger has confirmed he will get married this offseason.  I personally see this as a similar situation to what Tom Cruise went through a few years back.  The image makeover is definitely necessary but I’m curious if it’s factual.  The talent farm that provided Tom Cruise with a wife was probably hired to gather up a list of women with little self-esteem and morals to accept a huge sum of money to marry an alleged rapist.

Turns out that Big Ben is playing the right P.R. handbook in also announcing he has found religion as well. I’m guessing he’s just there for the wine but it’s good to see that Big Ben won’t be showing up on “To Catch A Predator” anytime soon.

Eagles lineman Todd Herremans tweeted “What a turnaround… Rapistberger to Religiousberger… Good for him!”

Funny, but odd coming from a guy who protects Michael Vick.

Pigskin Links Ringing Big Ben’s Bells

Giants Bradshaw,Barden Feeling Good After Surgeries

Many of the New York Giants players have had off season surgeries to repair lingering injuries they played through in the 2010 season, and perhaps none have had to play through more in the past two years than Ahmad Bradshaw.

Last off season, Bradshaw had two surgeries to repair one and possibly two broken feet that he played through during the 2009 season. Talk about toughness. One of the surgeries put screws in his foot and nobody gave him a chance to do well after having two foot surgeries.

Tom Brady building Mega mansion

Well, they needed somewhere big enough to house three Super Bowl trophies.

Gisele Bundchen, 30, and her American footballer husband Tom Brady are in the middle of building a jaw-dropping $20 million mega-mansion.

Construction has been under way on the sprawling 22,000 square-foot home for over a year, and the palatial pad is coming along nicely.

Making A Nick Saban Statue

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like to create a pretty elaborate Nick Saban statue from scratch, the Tuscaloosa News has you covered.

From sketch, to wire outline, to finished product – this fantastic time-lapsed video showcases just how this statue was created. From someone that struggles to draw an acceptable circle, I find this incredibly impressive. In fact, I can almost envision this statue giving A.J. McCarron a feisty “Don’t $%^&ing do that!” pat just like the real thing.

Stupidest Hockey Player Ever

Hockey sticks are meant for scoring, not for fighting. I’m surprised a lot more idiots don’t use their sticks as weapons like this kid.

At about 30 seconds into this video you’ll see a kid attack an opponent with his stick. Nice. For those of you new to hockey let’s just say that’s not how you do it. In fact, as a hockey fan, I’d like to see this kid who used his stick as a weapon to be booted from the sport. He’s an embarrassment.

Roethlisberger Confirms Wedding, Religion

Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger is expected to marry his on-and-off girlfriend of 5+ years Ashley Harlan on July 23rd, exactly one week before the Steelers open up with training camp (if the lockout ends).

While Ben’s upcoming nuptials aren’t a big deal to his camp, it’s been getting a lot of attention in the news since the story broke last summer. Big Ben doesn’t understand all of the hoopla over it.

Michael Strahan Enjoys Retirement and Wants Giants To Resign Tiki, Plaxico

Former New York Giants defensive end Michael Strahan is enjoying his retirement.  And busy.  Strahan has kept busy lately as a spokesman as well as an analyst for Fox Sports for NFL football.  We caught up with Strahan last Thursday at Chelsea Piers for a charity event sponsored by the Vaseline MEN Keep Your Grip Challenge to talk about the NFL lockout and Giants upcoming season.

Strahan may be retired but the Giants have the chance to bring back a couple of fan favorites in Plaxico Burress and Tiki Barber.   Burress will be eligible for release from jail this June and should be cleared to play football again for the upcoming season.

Barber, on the other hand, willingly retired after the 2006 season for new career in the media.  He slipped hard and fell from grace fast after news of his leaving his pregnant wife for a mistress didn’t go over well with his audience.  Now Tiki is trying to get back in the NFL.

The fate of the two players hangs in the air, much like the fate of the upcoming NFL season.  In part 1 of our talk with Strahan we go over the possibility of reunited Tiki, Plaxico and possibly Strahan himself.

On the return of Plaxico Burress

Oh, I think they should sign him the minute he gets out. No brainer.

He was Eli’s safety blanket. I know Eli’s gone on and had great years, and I know statistically better years since, but, um, I think Plaxico’s is a great addition to that team and they could definitely, I don’t think he would hurt.

He’s familiar with the coaching staff, familiar with the playbook. And a tremendous player and why not?

On the return of Tiki Barber

Well, you know, Tiki’s a guy that’s interesting because he’s almost, it’s almost unprecedented what he’s doing because most guys (like) Barry Sanders retired early but Barry never came back.

Most guys that try to make the comeback are because they were already on the decline when they were forced to retire the first time.

Here’s a guy who finished on top of the game and I don’t know, 1,600 or 1,800 yards, and four years later he’s coming back and one thing I know is that he has the work ethic of a horse.

He will work, especially now he’s made up his mind to do this. And, um, Tiki likes to prove people wrong.

And this is a guy who I look at and man he carried our offense. He didn’t leave beat up and battered. He left on top of his game. So, I would believe he would have a few good years left.

On his return to football

I’m done. Trust me, when I walked out….I had my retirement speech. I wasn’t even remotely about the cry. I was smiling from ear to ear and I am out of here.

In the fifteen years,man, I’ve played enough. You know, at some point, when you go through fifteen seasons and you’ve had minimal surgeries and your knees still work and you wake up every morning and you don’t have a headache or a concussion syndrome, you count your blessings and say enough is enough. I don’t want to be greedy. And that’s where I was at.

 

Look for part 2 of our talk with Michael Strahan tomorrow as he discusses the NFL lockout and what players can do to help the situation.

The NCAA Revolution Will Not Be Televised

The revolution will not be brought to you by the University of Southern Cal; will not star Cam Newton or John Blake and Butch Davis or Jim Tressel. The revolution will not give you a playoff system. The revolution will not get rid of sports agents on campus. The revolution will not put a mid-major in the National Championship game because the revolution will not be televised, brother.

With all due respects paid to Gil Scott-Heron, the man who wrote the poem “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”, nothing could be more apropos.

HBO’s “Real Sports” on March 30 highlighted former Auburn football players were coerced with consistent large sums of money to be paid for their loyalty, performances and commitment to their school.

PBS’ “Frontline” on March 29 covered college basketball and NCAA basketball corruption, highlighting how schools are using players to line their own pockets.

Over the last year, it has come to light that Fiesta Bowl officials had set up a scheme to be reimbursed for their own political contributions. Using college football’s tax-exempt status, because of course this is amateur athletics we’re dealing with, the Fiesta Bowl was extorting its own state’s money.

Considering there are dozens of bowl games and how the NCAA had no idea what was going on (a Fiesta Bowl employee spoke out about the matter), how can anyone assume more corruption isn’t to be found elsewhere?

Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel is caught lying to NCAA investigators and covering up a scandal. University of North Carolina defensive line coach John Blake, affectionately known as Black Santa for his penchant for gift-giving, is found funneling college athletes towards a sports agent for whom he was previously employed. Not to mention, he formerly worked at the University of Oklahoma during the Barry Switzer era, another regime found to have been corrupt. Blake resigned from his position but UNC has still yet to be punished for that or when multiple players were found to be taking gifts from sports agents. And all the while, head coach Butch Davis claims ignorance of the situation and that he was unaware of any wrongdoing. Right.

University of Auburn’s Cam Newton was alleged to have solicited money for his “services” when transferring to a new school. He was exonerated, at least for now, and the burden was placed on his father with the NCAA unable to find a paper trail.

This issue is so widespread that there is no quick fix. This is a broad systemic problem. Colleges are giving out scholarships to athletes who would otherwise not qualify to enroll. Using the exorbitant profits from TV licensing deals, college football wields power and influence on the backs of so-called student-athletes. State tax money is paid to public colleges to subsidize them which in turn is used to pay for huge college football coach contracts, bigger stadiums, better facilities, etc.

Given the background of many student-athletes, their best interests are compromised when well-to-do boosters grease their palms with money. Many of these student-athletes come from less-than-ideal upbringings. As a young teenager, if their mother or other close relative can’t afford to pay rent, how wrong is it for him to sell sports memorabilia given to him by the school in order to make ends meet for his family? Rather than pay handouts like Auburn, couldn’t a school simply give a player a few extra game jerseys for them to sell on their own as a loophole in the system?

The NCAA cannot afford to enforce its own rules. Bringing down UNC, Auburn, Ohio State and other big-time schools hurts the sport. Sure, the NCAA hit USC with sanctions, but that’s one school and one incident. Are we to believe that some mysterious force is just out to harm college sports? All these allegations are false? An unfortunate coincidence?

The game has been compromised. In due time, something will occur which will force the system to reassess its practices. We all know the game is dirty, most every fan knows the BCS is full of it for not having a playoff system. For now, all a fan can do is hope that his or her school is clean.

Pigskin Links Battle A Hangover

It’s Out! Hangover 2 Trailer

Admittedly, this trailer for the upcoming “The Hangover: Part II” looks a bit familiar. One can only hope that these aren’t the days when sequels just rehash the same jokes as the original movie. I’m looking at you “Airplane 2!”

The gang travels to Southeast Asia this time to get wasted and lose someone important for Stu’s (Ed Helms) marriage to a lady from Thailand. Heather Graham, the ho from Las Vegas, is curiously missing from this version but it’s not a huge loss as her character was rather minor to begin with.

March 2011 Fail Compilation

Will the Broncos Be Forced to Start Tim Tebow at Quarterback in 2011?

The competition between Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow to be the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos is expected to be one of the hottest position battles once training camp rolls around. However, a recent article brings up an interesting topic regarding whether or not the Broncos will be forced to go with Tebow based on his popularity.

Mark Kiszia of the Denver Post recently discussed how Denver may have no other choice but to give Tebow the starting job in 2011 considering how the 23-year-old has become a marketing icon since last April.

Charlie Sheen Booed Off Stage at First Live Show

Charlie Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option” tour kicked off at the Fox Theatre in Detroit last night… and quickly died a sad, pathetic death. Well, the fate of the tour has yet to be decided, but considering how terribly Sheen was received by the drunk Detroit audience — they booed him off the stage and many walked out early — it’s unlikely the Warlock’s career as a live stand-up performer will last much longer.

Louis Murphy Arrested for Viagra Possession, Resisting Arrest

Oakland Raiders wide receiver and former Florida receiver Louis Murphy was arrested early Sunday morning in Gainesville for three offenses including Viagra possession without a prescription, failure to obey an officer, and resisting arrest without violence, as the Gainesville Sun reported via Raiders reporter Vittorio Tafur. Murphy apparently was playing his music loudly and was told to pull over, but he kept driving into a parking lot and demanded to know why he was being stopped.

Jessica Messenger Is April’s Model of the Month!

If you don’t know who Jessica Messenger is, she’s an alternative model who has done work for Maxim. You can also see her in the upcoming Maxim event ‘The Maxim Model Boxing Night‘ where she is training to kick some pretty-faces asses twice a week in London. Jessica took some time out of her busy day as a MILF / ass-kicker / model to answer a few questions for Turd Ferguson Blog, and her answers didn’t disappoint! Check’em out.

A Prank on the Mets, but SNY Isn’t Laughing

Through two late-season collapses in 2007 and 2008 and then the last two sub-.500 seasons, the Mets have endured plenty of criticism and no little bit of mockery. But on Friday night, an employee of SNY, the Mets’ network, played a prank — perhaps for April Fools’ Day — after the Mets’ opening-night loss to the Florida Marlins. The worker, whom SNY would not identify, inserted a few seconds from a 2010 “Family Guy” episode that made light of the Mets’ miseries.

Fat Lady Makes Fat People Look Bad By Attacking Skinny Lady

I don’t want to think of fat people as food-crazed maniacs that will lose their minds when someone eats some of their food, but it’s stories like this one — about a 400-some-odd pound women from Naples, Florida, that attempted to beat the ever-loving shit out of her roommate after the roommate ate her Thin Mint cookies — that make it hard not to think such a horrible thing.

Hersha Howard is around 400 pounds and has a roommate named Jasmin Wanke and reports that she was physically attacked in her sleep by Howard, who was a wee bit pissed off about someone eating her Thin Mints.

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